Just got back from vacation. Can you believe it - I went on a 2 week vacation. The highlight of the vacation was “the incident” and it went like this…

We were in Greece on a boat anchored in a small cove off a little tiny island. On top of the island was a rock outcropping and I thought it would be fun to hike up and see the view. With my handy dandy team of 3 (two whiny woman and my son Joe), we ventured off.
We got to a small road that was lined with an eight foot rock wall on the side I needed to get to so I walked along looking for an opening and of course there was one. I was going to get to the top.

As I walked through the opening something grabbed my arm. I looked down as my arm was pulled back and what registered all happened in an instant.
The thing grabbing my arm looked just like a thick string of yarn. It was white.

My thoughts as they occurred:
“That is from a spider”
“It is really thick and huge webbing”
“That means the spider is huge and a monster”
“Screaming and jumping is in order”

Yes, yes, your charming farmer ripped off a blood curdling scream, jumped 5 feet into the air and started frantically flailing to get the monster off of me. There was web stuck all over me and the web was full of dead insects the size of quarters and I am sure there was a few large beasts like bears and mountain lions stuck in there. My whiner friends were laughing. The one that actually peed her pants shall go unnamed (Kim Galatolo)….and the other one who had said it was crazy to go climbing due to the venomous snakes we were warned about (being such a chicken she will go unnamed also, Dr. Kathy O’Connor), pointed out how many of the large beasts were all over which sent me into fits of jumping and screaming and more flailing.
Okay, so the beast itself…it was HUGE. It was spitting and hissing. It said my name. It said it would hunt me down with its brethren and eat me during the night. Its brethren echoed my name and said death to the organic woman that wants to climb the mountain. She will be good eating.

I continued to flail but manage to make my way back to boat without injuring myself or anyone else (as far as I know)…

I have recovered but on returning to the farm Elijah asked me to come to the garden to see what he had found…yes it was a tarantula. He had covered it with a glass cup and wanted to show me before he let it go. I won’t be working in the garden anytime soon.

Your wussy, rested Farmer,
Tara Smith